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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Negative, Thank God

So yesterday after work I went to the grocery store. While there I picked up a bottle of wine, and a pregnancy test. The bottle of wine was me symbolically daring the other to give me the results I didn't want.

I took my groceries in, put them away and peed on the stick. Then I waited. 

Negative.

"Thank God!" I actually said this out loud to the empty room. This is only the second time in two years my BC pills have stopped my period altogether, so I was nervous.

J wasn't two minutes behind me, and while I had told myself I wasn't even going to tell him I'd been worried, it just kind of came out. I prefaced the whole conversation with the fact that I wasn't pregnant, pouring wine as I said it, I suppose to emphasize my conviction in the fact.

His initial response was good. "Oh wow babe, so you've had a stressful day I guess?" He gave me a hug and let out a big sigh. I could tell he didn't even realize he'd been holding his breath.

While I poured his wine he started talking to my cat and the nerves in his voice were audible.

"Sweetie," I said, "I'm not pregnant, you don't have to be stressed out." He laughed and asked how I knew he was feeling stressed.

"Because I can hear it in your voice just talking to the stupid cat." I was agitated, and of course I know it's because I had serious relief flooding through me along with the remnants of the anxiety from just a half hour earlier.

He walked over to hug me and says, "Babe, I love you. But I'm not ready for that."

So, I kinda lost it. "And I am? Why do guys act like just because I'm a girl I would want to get knocked up? That kid would be in my body for 9 months, I'm not ready for that either!" 

He cut me off before I said something I'd rather not, apologizing profusely, "That's not what I meant, I'm sorry. I know that. Here, have your wine." I immediately knew I was overreacting. He was just as relieved as I was and he was experiencing everything I'd had all day to absorb in like 10 minutes.

I let him lead me to the sofa and took a long sip of the wine, very grateful that there was no child in my belly so that I could have it.

5 comments:

The Bipolar Diva said...

breathe, just breathe....

Babes Mami said...

It can be very scary and it makes you a crazy person temporarily not to mention you are an overly busy woman already. You know he wasn't meaning it that way. ;]

Also, glad you got the results you wanted. I have a friend with your name who announced her pregnancy a few days ago and Chris tohught I was talking about you so this is slightly amusing for me.

Drink some more wine!

Ranae Rose said...

9 (well, closer to 10!) months of watching everyone else sip wine and gulp beer. Ah, I remember that. lol

But seriously, glad you got the results you wanted. I think we've all experienced the relief of the negative test at some time or another!

Boobies said...

Whew!

I swear, Men are NEVER really ready for children.

Lady In Black said...

been there...glad you got the results you were looking for!!