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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Wicked Wednesday Firsts

One Crazy Brunette Chick

So this week we are talking about firsts. It always occurs to me after the fact that if I'm picking the topic I should maybe find something that I can write an interesting post about! I've written about my first blow job already and the first time I had sex was good, but nothing I feel drawn to write about. I basically said, ok, I'm done being a virgin, and slept with this guy I'd only kinda been seeing. No romance, no fireworks, all in all, nothing too special.

So what do I write about? Then I remember. I was a phone sex goddess for a while, but there was that one time that it didn't go so smoothly.

When I was in high school I was sort of friends with this guy. We never dated, and he never so much as kissed me, but we were computer buddies. We both stayed up late and we would talk until 2AM sometimes on AIM (remember AIM? yeah I know) So anyway, somewhere along the way the chatting became a little more scandalous and by the time we were in college cyber-sex was upgraded to phone sex. 

Here's the thing. When I typed something that I thought was kinda cheesy, I could laugh and he wouldn't know. When he typed something incredibly ridiculous, I could laugh and he wouldn't know. On the phone? He would know when I was laughing. 

The first time we tried phone sex I was soo awkward. I was saying things like, "Oh God Yes", and "Then what?". I made him do all the work. While he talked dirty I was trying not to laugh at the obsurdity of it. This guy wasn't my boyfriend. We had no personal experience to draw from, and I felt like an idiot! I just couldn't think of anything to say that didn't make me want to burst out laughing! I basically masturbated while he talked to me and made some semi-appropriate pleasure noises. Aside from that I concentrated on not laughing and hurting this guys ego.

Eventually I got over not knowing what to say. We had several successful phone sessions during college and a few after, but when the douche bag moved home it turns out he was afraid to actually follow through with anything. 

No worries, I have J and I'm MORE than happy with him. 

But that was my awkward first. The first time I had phone sex.


Singedwingangel said...

roflmbo ok see phone sex for me is great.. course I love talking and writing so I guess for me it comes naturally. I used to work for a long distance company as a CSR and I had more people then I would care to count say I had a bedroom voice and needed to be a phone sex operator..something about my throaty growl and southern twang lol

Babes Mami said...

I find phone sex akward and hilarious. Chris and I already laugh a lot in bed so I can only assume that phone sex would go horribly wrong lol

True Pleasures said...

I think hubby and I had phone sex once or twice. It was horribly nerve-wracking... This was way back when he was still in the Navy and I was still living with my parents in their basement. You could hear a pin drop in that house, and he wanted phone sex! O.O OMG What if my parents heard!? I still wonder about that sometimes... He'd still be carrying on and my mother would be coming down to do laundry.. Scared the crap out of me every time...

Miss C said...

I just watched going the distance and the phone sex scene is hilarious.

I love phone sex but my guy does all the work and I enjoy the ride.

☆aceycakes☆ said...

phone sex is awkward, it always sounds so cheesy and forced. Me and hubs did the long distance thing and we would have late night webcam "chats", but whenever we tried on the phone it was too weird, thank god that's over!