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Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Story of two D's

There were two girls named D. They met their first week of college. It was kinda crazy how much they had in common. They had similar hair, a similar story, and they ended up with a pretty close relationship. One summer they were roommates and they took a lot of classes together. Their paths crossed often.

Early in their college experience one of the D's was getting ready for her first big exam. Another student, an upperclassman, offered to help her study. It was kinda late so she wasn't supposed to be in his dorm, but he told her it wouldn't be a big deal and snuck her in the back. they studied for the exam and before she knew what was happening he was coming onto her. She told him he wasn't interested but he pressed the issue. He forced himself on her.

The next day she was in a daze, unsure of what happened. If this guy had sex with her it must mean that he loved her. She wasn't interested in him, but she'd have to marry him now, right? She was confused. Her friends saw it and asked questions. Eventually she went to the hospital and reported to the college disciplinary board.

Long story short, he was given a slap on the wrist and she was given work duty for being in a boys dormitory after-hours. Campus Administration didn't support her, and many students on campus thought she was lying, because this guy "just wasn't the kind of guy to do this sort of thing". Her life changed as a result of that. 

The other D enjoyed her college experience. She saw the injustice done to the other D and supported her. She volunteered and even interned with a non-profit that worked with victims of sexual assault.

Her senior year she was the president of a Greek organization on campus. One of the younger members was her DD for the formal. She threw caution to the wind and had a single goal, to have fun. After a few drinks at dinner she met a cute bartender at the venue. Turns out she'd ran across him before, he gave her free drinks and they flirted all night. They ended up making out in the kitchen. Her friends found her just after he'd gotten a key for a room upstairs.

They took her home.....

I was a lot luckier than my friend D. It's easy for me to put myself in a victim's shoes, because when I woke up sober then next day I realized that a guy I barely knew (who had an arrest record) almost took my drunk ass up to hotel room. I was so wasted two friends had to help me to the car that night. I was a virgin, who at the time had full intentions of saving herself for marriage. If he'd assaulted me, who would've believed me? Not the school (I'd gone with him) not law enforcement (I'd been drinking and made a poor decision). My friends probably. They knew me well enough to know that when I was sober I'd be glad they got me out of there. The other D just wanted to study for a test with a "nice" guy who'd offered to help her.

It could've been me.

No one asks to be raped. No one deserves to be raped. 

Just because I let you watch a movie on my TV doesn't mean you get to take the flat screen home with you.


singedwingangel said...

oooh preach that

Babes Mami said...

great post D, it really could be anyone!

PBJdreamer said...

great post and excellent way of illustrating THE TRUTH about assault.

that is all

Ranae Rose said...

"No one deserves to be raped."

So true! I hate it when people try to act like it was partially (or completely) the victim's fault. Uh, NO! There's a reason they're called a 'victim'!

CinfulCinnamon said...

Unfortunately this happens way too often. Girls trust, and boys learn to conquest. Not all of them, and hopefully I've taught my son better. My two goals for him were: "learn to read and you can do anything". "treat women with respect and you'll be a popular man".

Nel said...

The blog is very good!

Redd said...

Thanks D. For posting this and making others aware..

I found myself here on your site after clicking the button on Nanny's site and wanted to thank you.

Blabbed on it too..soo.. *smiles & shrugs* It's never too late to me to make my friends alert. I wished I had years ago.

*waves* Have a fabu Sunday!

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