Hi Everyone! Feel free to puruse the archives while you are here, but I hope you will visit me at my new site, Secrets of a Sweet Southern Girl and follow me there. I no longer blog here.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

From the Eclectic Mind of D's girl J

So when I was planning my break I thought, what if my girl J wrote something for you guys. I mean, she read this stuff all the time and usually has something to say about it, and you all sort of get to know her by proxy anyway. So she agreed to write up a little something for you guys! I'm excited about it. So sit tight and show my girl some love ok?!


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Well I guess at first you should know a little bit about me and if you don’t want to know, well, you are going to know anyway. I am “my girl J”, not J, J-man, just me. D has too many people with the same letter to be called alphabet men and women now I believe, but anywho. I am peppered all through this blog with some good and bad experiences and somehow my lunchtime rants seem to just magically end up on D’s Fuck You Friday, which I have truly missed. I can be a complete bitch when you push me. I have broken a beer bottle (while wearing a very beautiful formal dress) and threatened a girl’s life when she was mean to my friends, and I have also crumbled into tears over Toy Story 1,2, and 3. So I think I am the definition of a true Southern Belle; fearless, compassionate and extremely loyal. I do not break beer bottles anymore since I have had to grow up some. I also learned how to better channel my hatred. I will say that I would do it again for my sweet friend D! I would possibly go to jail for her if the situation called for such. How do I channel my hatred? Through lots and lots and lots of shopping, my new found love affair with cooking, and LOADS of red wine. Enough about me…

What is your normal?

The other night I had a lovely dinner party to celebrate my friend A’s engagement. I made a fantastic pork loin, roasted potatoes, hot sauce green beans, D brought the macaroni and cheese and it was a wonderful meal. But as the three of us girls were sitting around the table eating, talking and drinking wine I had a thought in my head. This time last year I was where D was with my new relationship with the love of my life. My love and I met years ago in grade school and didn’t reconnect until last year around January. We have been together now for a little over a year and I couldn’t be happier in my relationship. There have been bumps in the road, every relationship has those. One day when D and I went to lunch she was telling me about her theory of crazy and I made a comment that no one's relationship was perfect. Of course she got all sassy and said, “Well, we're still perfect, but we haven’t fought yet.” That statement made me want to throw up a little in my mouth (because I am not a romantic) but it was true.

It made me think though, isn't it healthy to fight or argue sometimes when you have been dating a while? I know that my love and I had a fight almost 3 weeks after we got together. There are relationships out there that fight constantly and some that never fight. What is a normal? What is a normal relationship….is there one? I don’t think there is because really, is anyone normal? I've been wondering about this a lot. Here I am with this man I am totally in love with and we have been together and a year. I pee in front of him, get ready in front of him, and on the occasional drunken night out I have thrown up in front of him. He does all these things in front of me too, but we have been doing these things from the beginning.

D scurries J-man out the door in the morning when she wants to get ready. She'd rather he see only the final product, not the behind the scenes making of it. My absolutely favorite saying is “it is what it is,” and that is probably how I can explain normal. It is such a blanket term but really it is for everyone! I love that 'it is what it is' because when you don’t know what to say, it's like a calming balm that explains everything away. I guess my question is, what is normal in your relationships? Do you like to get it all out in the open or do you want to have a little surprise left? Do you fight? Or do you talk things through without getting emotional?

2 comments:

Daffy said...

A little of both? One of well known sayings is "it will be what it will be" which is the same as yours just more words...right?! I'd much rather get whatever it is discussed and out of the way. I believe there is a rational way of doing that.

I've come out of an emotionally manipulative rollercoaster of a relationship and learned a lot in the process. None of those behaviors will be repeated or tolerated in future relationships so I'm sure that has a big influence on how I fight in the future.

Great post.

D. Scandal said...

Thanks for doing this girl, I loved it! You'll have to do it again sometime!!