Hey everyone...I'm Boobies and I'm holding things down here today for the delightful D! ;) A few weeks ago, I actually read a post here that inspired me.
In any event--It made me start thinking about the whole game of 'dating.' Granted, I've been off the market for the past six plus years..but I started thinking about what a farce dating really is. It's kind of like stuffing your bra. (Or padding your drawers with tube socks if you're a guy.) Eventually the clothes will come off..and everyone's gonna know you weren't that endowed. The same goes with dating. Everyone is on their very best behavior. Bringing the A game.
Take for example Mr. Boobies and I. When he met me, he thought I was the sweetest, most soft spoken, agreeable woman he'd ever met. "Oh yeah, I totally love cheap beer and Rambo movies." I said in my best bedroom voice while twirling a piece of my hair. But hell to the no--I didn't love beer and I loathe Rambo. (Sorry boys.) What I really wanted to do was drink Patron or Stoli Elit and buy a new Coach bag. But I wasn't going to tie him down with that strategy.
Before you get all judgy on me...Mr. B was no angel either. For the first 6 months we were together, I thought he was the first man God made that didn't pass gas. He couldn't push gifts at me quick enough. (Now I have to hide the gifts I buy for myself with his money.) He was tender and understanding. He hung on every word I said like I was delivering a personal message from Jesus. He opened the doors for me. He was sympathetic when I was on my period. Because he knew he was going to have to run that game to seal the deal.
I hung out in the
We were both bullshitting. False advertising. Because I hate how the garage smells and he couldn't have given two shits if I was on the rag. But we were playing the game. And then checkmate! We got married. Locked each other down and BAM! He does fart...a lot and on purpose. I'm only soft spoken and super sweet if I want something. He doesn't open the door for me and now instead of hanging on my every syllable, he tries his best to tune me out.
Now don't get me wrong here--we adore each other. Mr. Boobies would be lost without me and could never find anyone that could measure up to me. He'll admit that to you any day of the week. *Unless he just got the credit card statement. And I worship him...I truly do. He's amazing. Everything I ever wanted in a man and then some. Strong, confident, masculine, funny, charming, sexy....(did I mention the credit card bill is coming any day now?)
But dating is just a big, complicated game. Who can sell themselves best? Come off the most appealing? But you have to admit...it's kinda fun!