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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Things to remember when naming the girls...

One Crazy Brunette Chick

I'm going to tell you about the night I named my boobs.It was a crazy night and I ended up at my girl J's crying into a glass of wine and talking about the day. (I was being a little dramatic. I thought my life would never be the same.) That was when her other friend J came over and commiserated with me. Two glasses of wine and the other J decided that I needed to go out.

Being a girl, I was ok with that as long as I could have chocolate. So we went out, I drank more wine and had chocolate cake. At some point while we were there these guys that knew J and J showed up. I don't really remember them, but apparently my drunk ass made an impression. Someone bought shots and I got a little out of hand. I named my boobs infront of these new friends (announcing the names of your breasts to guys you don't know will come back to bite you in the ass) and I tried to name everyone else's. (There are people who don't name their boobs, and you shouldn't force the issue.) I flirted shamelessly with these guys I didn't know (everyone knows everyone in a small town) and stumbled through the restaurant. Eventually I got sick, and it flipped the crying switch. Not the gentle sweet tears you might think, but big ugly face blotching tears. Once I started I couldn't stop. My girl J was getting a little embarassed and I don't blame her. She took me on the patio to get some air and settled my bill.

College girls were hugging me and telling me it would be ok. It really only embarassed me and made me angry, but the hideous sobbing made it difficult to display much other emotion. I thought it was over that night, (it's never over) until a couple of months later.

My girl J started dating her man and he told her a story that his work buddy had told him. He'd run into the J's and they had this girl with them. She was so drunk, and she kept grabbing her boobs. Yep. I was the topic of breakroom conversation at a local plant.

Yeah. So it was more of an embarassing night than an awesome memory, but it was most certainly wicked and unforgettable!

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