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Thursday, January 27, 2011

D's Theory of Crazy

So J-man and I went out for bowling and wings with another couple this weekend. I planned her Bachelorette Party in the fall just weeks before I met him. So we've been dating about as long as they've been married. It made for some fun conversation and lots of laughter. At one point when we were talking about how we met, my friend husband asked me about the online dating scene. Had I tried it for long? What was my experience? That kind of thing.

I kinda breezed through the pros and cons of a few sites, then basically told him the reason I'd chosen not to pay any money, was because the men on those sites seemed to had marriage as an end goal. Where I'd rather date and allowing nature to run it's course in the relationship. This of course threw me on my soap-box about people who interview for a spouse and get engaged within a few months. I proceeded to explain to them my theory of crazy.

D's Theory of Crazy

Everyone is crazy. Every last one of us. When you are dating someone, the question is not, are they crazy? The question is, what is their crazy? Everyone can manage to be on their best behavior for a very long time. There are people who I'd wager can hide things for over a year. For most people though, it seems to take six to eight months for all of their crazy to surface. In that same amount of time they are seeing more and more of your crazy. At the end of all that, once you've seen their crazy and they've seen yours, if your crazies are compatible then you can proceed with some confidence.

He liked that theory, he agreed to consider debunking his former theory (all women are a little bipolar) in favor of mine. First, because his wife and I both work with some clients who suffer from severe bipolar and he recognizes that he doesn't completely know what he's talking about. Second, because if he says that to the wrong person they will call him sexist after punching him in the face.

We laughed though. His wife pointed out that most women tend to experience a larger range of emotion than most men. (I said most in an attempt to avoid stereotypes, I'm well aware that statement doesn't apply to everyone.) So for him what seemed like bipolar, is probably just regular mood swings. :)

Anyway, it was a fun night with lots of fun conversation. I realized though that I had never shared my Theory of Crazy with you, so I thought I'd do that :)

Take your button! :)


singedwingangel said...

I agree completely with that thought. I think we all have our nuances and desires that may seem odd to someone else. But in reality it is what makes us tick. Wouldn't it be great if we could all just be who we are without fear of being ostracized or outcast..

Boobies said...


The whole 'dating' time frame, everyone is on their PERFECT behavior!