Hi Everyone! Feel free to puruse the archives while you are here, but I hope you will visit me at my new site, Secrets of a Sweet Southern Girl and follow me there. I no longer blog here.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Tantric Massage Candle from Vibrator.com

My friends at Vibrator.com sent me the Tantric Lickable Natural Soy Massage Candle for review. Since I started reviewing sex toys I've wanted to try out other sexual aides, specifically lotions, creams, and candles. I've been wanting to try out one of these massage candles for a while. The company has plenty of incense and candles, but many aren't considered edible. My personal opinion is that you should want an all natural candle for sexy massages. I mean if you're anything like me, licking and tasting is just good foreplay.

This Tantric Candle is manufactured by California Exotics and comes in a circular tin as you can see. It is a 6 oz. candle that sells for $23.00 on Vibrator.com.

Have you ever had a candle or lotion that smelled so good you just wanted to eat it? That was exactly where I was when I first opened my Tasty Strawberry scented Tantric candle. I did love the smell. I could have burned this candle for the scent alone and been pleased.

I would have liked to try this out with the man before posting this review, but there simply hasn't been a chance yet, so I decided to massage my tired legs with the candle.

The soy wax is supposed to have a low burning point which means that the wax doesn't have to be so hot to be used. I still thought the wax would be hot initially, but it really wasn't bad at all. I used the small plastic spoon that came with the candle because I thought it may need to cool, but by the time I was done I was pouring the wax directly on my skin. The warmth was just that, warm. It wasn't like pouring hot wax on my skin (which I've done by accident before).

The oil definitely allowed me to massage my legs with plenty of smooth motion, but it didn't leave a greasy residue. It was a lot like using a lotion, only thinner and warm. It was actually very nice. I'm looking forward to a chance to have J-man use this with me.

I used some on my arm to taste. Obviously I massaged it into my skin first, and the taste would be almost like having a flavored chap stick. It isn't an overpowering taste, but it's enough to keep it from just tasting like wax.

I was very pleased with this product. I've loved the idea since I first heard of these massage candles. I was hesitant, thinking there might be a greasy film left behind or the taste would counteract the foreplay of a massage. After all, I wouldn't want to get all worked up by a sexy massage and then not be able to kiss or lick my man's skin without some odd taste.

Like any candle you are going to get maximum use if you allow it to burn evenly all the way across the top before extinguishing it. So I allowed it to burn until it was liquefied evenly and it took about an hour. So I would suggest lighting it well ahead of time. I'm sure that will vary (depending on the conditions in your house and how the ventilation is, etc, etc) but that gives you an idea. From the amount of oil I used to massage just my legs, I'm guessing that giving J-man a full back rub would use maybe 1/5 to 1/4 of the candle.

So, the scent is wonderful, and the taste is not overpowering, or chalky or bitter (like some flavored products). The texture is good, not greasy, and the price is very reasonable. I was pleased all the way around with this product and I would definitely recommend it.

I was provided this product free of charge in exchange for an unbiased review. No other compensation was received for this review. All opinions are my own.

Tapped out!

I'm exhausted! This is me right now.

It's been a long day. all I really want to do right now is go home and curl up in the bed, preferrably with J-man. I'm gonna have to get some sleep tonight if we're staying up to bring in the New Year tomorrow night.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Naughty List! Tag your it!

Names Will Not Be Changed To Protect The Innocent
So The Naughty List is different this week and I'm going to try and get in on this. It's a question game where each person answers the Question of the one before them in the Linky.

Ginger's Question was: Do you have any plans for making this next year wild and exciting?

My Answer? Don't I always have wild and exciting plans? But yes, I do. J-man has promised a naughty camping trip when it warms up, and I am thoroughly looking forward to that. I also plan to go to my first strip-club this year. (How's that for a New Year's Resolution?) I've never been and I'm just curious. 

My Question for the Next Person- Do you have Naughty Plans for New Year's Eve/Day?

Tag you're it! Check out Ange and join in!

New Year's Eve and a Shift in the Universe

One Crazy Brunette Chick

Ok, so here's the thing. I could tell you about my best New Year's Eve. It was great, I spent it in Times Square with a couple of really awesome girls, and there was no alcohol. (I know, crazy right?!) I'd rather tell you about last year though. You see, last year all of the laws of the universe shifted for an evening and our social circle as we knew it would never be the same :)

So, for most of 2009 I was wasted. Maybe that's a slight exaggeration but to say that it was at least a weekly occurrence would be accurate and at times it was more often than that. Sometime in October my friends started to worry and perhaps they were right to. (I was crying outside of a local bar and college girls were hugging me... yeah, they were right to be worried) So come New Years I was riding in the booze mobile with everyone else and one of the girls was our DD. Now here's the kicker, my girl J, and my other friend A were usually the ones taking care of my drunk ass but they'd previously determined that they were going to get drunk that night since they actually had a DD.

Somewhere around 11:00 PM I realized I was sober. It was strange and unusual. I'd been dancing all night, and I guess I'd forgotten to drink. Here's the thing, J and A were dancing with me. They were plastered. A took of her shoes and started making out with this guy on the dance floor and J ended up at the bar making out with a drug dealer!! Other friends came and got drunk and suddenly there were too many cars. So here it is, wait for it....

I was a DD. *gasp* Me! The DD! I switched to only water and I was driving the drunks to Waffle House at 3:00 AM while J slept it off in the car and A got felt up by the guy she would spend the next four months 'dating'.

To say that the landscape of our social circle is drastically different this year than it was last year would be an understatement. But it's been a fun year nonetheless. Hop on over the BGB and link-up your New Year's story!

So that's my story of the night the universe shifted for me :)

Sunday, December 26, 2010

White Christmas!

So for the first time in my lifetime we had a White Christmas, and it was honestly one of the best Christmases to date with my family. The whole thing just felt special, from start to finish. My festivites started Thursday night at my house with the first gathering for my Dad's side of the family. While I did some driving around for different things we ended up back here last night to get snowed in and the last of my sisters just left a few hours ago.

The older I get the fewer presents there are, and the closer we all seem to be. I do love my family. I understand that some people don't have great holiday experiences, which makes me all the more grateful for mine.

See my snow? It's pretty, and snow is so rarely pretty here. It's usually just ice and dirty slush. We made a redneck snowman too :)

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas Baby...

I slid out of bed quietly so I wouldn't wake you. You've had a really long week and I know you're tired. The hardwood floors are cold beneath my feet and I grab my fuzzy slippers from the closet to bump the temperature up on the thermostat.

The first thing I noticed was the unusual brightness in the living room. Then I realized it was coming from outside. Everything was covered in white. A smile spread across my face and I almost ran to wake you, but then I realized that if we were snowed in that meant we couldn't go to the family lunch.

I decided to let you sleep until you woke up, and then I'd have a little surprise for you. I smiled to myself as I turned on the gas logs in the fireplace and took one of your small presents out from under the tree. I very quietly went into the bathroom to shower, then I dusted powder across my nose.

I opened the present I'd bought you and slid into the silky red and black teddy, then added the matching robe. I'd planned to let you open it this morning, and then spend all day at your mother's imagining me in it tonight. Since we would be spending Christmas at home though, I'd rather give you the real present right away.

I peeked out into the bedroom to find you still asleep so I went into the living room and sat on the soft rug in front of the fireplace. Even in the skimpy lingerie I was warm in front of the fire. I waited there looking out the window at the beautiful white landscape and imaging how perfect this day would be. I've always wished that we could celebrate Christmas this way. Just you and me relaxing in front of the logs and enjoying our time with each other stress free.

I heard your phone ring and I was excited to realize I likely wouldn't have to wait much longer. You would likely see the time and rush out to see why I hadn't woken you up yet. I hear the sheets rustle as you checked the phone and I heard your feet hit the floor. I was smiling when you walked into the living room calling my name. You were wearing flannel pajama pants and nothing else. Your hair was tousled and you had a sexy disheveled look. Your gaze settled on me in front of the fire. There was confusion in your eyes at first, and then an appreciative gleam took it's place.

"We're snowed in." I said. You looked to the window for the first time to take in all of the white. Smiling you looked back to me and came to sit next to me.

"Merry Christmas." You said, leaning in to kiss me. I placed a hand against your chest for balance as I kissed you back. The warmth of the fire on my back was a contrast to your chilled hand resting against my cheek. I tilted my head to kiss you more deeply and you pulled me into your lap. I could feel you, hard beneath my ass. The silky teddy another contrast to the thick flannel of your pjs. I wrapped my arms around and and repositioned to straddle your lap.

You groan beneath me and I chuckle, knowing what this is doing to you. I can feel myself growing slick and wet as your hands slide up my rib cage to rest just beneath my breasts. I break the kiss on a sigh and stretch against you, the silky fabric sliding across my folds.

You roll me onto my back and pull the flimsy robe away. Pulling the thin strap down my shoulder you trail kisses from there to the top of my breast. Reaching behind me for the thin tie that keeps it pulled tightly, you loosen the fabric and it falls to my waist. My breasts bared for your kisses.

You slide the fabric completely away down my smooth legs and suck and lick at my nipples while your hand cups my mound. I buck against you and it's your turn to laugh. I reach for your pants, held up by an elastic waist and pull them down. You slide them away as well as you lay next to me on the soft rug.

Naked in front of the fire we touch and play. I wrap my hand around your erection and hear your gasp of pleasure. I want to take you in my mouth, but there will be plenty of time for that sort of play later on. Right now I just want to feel you inside of me.

I pull you towards me as I roll completely onto my back and you follow me. Bracing on your elbows above me, you line your hips with mine. With a soft mewl of pleasure I guide you to my entrance, and inch by inch you enter me slowly.

I'm so wet, and you feel so good inside of me. Once you're cock is buried inside of me I bring my legs to wrap around your waist and hold you close. You pulse in and out slowly, grinding against clit with each pass. Sighing and moaning with pleasure, I hold you tighter.

You begin to increase your speed, there's an urgency that I can recognize. I lift my hips higher, bringing my clit in closer contact with your pelvis as you thrust away. The sensation is so pleasurable, I could hang here at the edge of climax forever. I recognize your need though, and as you thrust I push back against you until I reach the edge and tumble over with my orgasm.

As I cry out and clench around you I feel your back straighten and your shoulders tense. A second later you come on a gutteral moan. I feel you spill inside of me and then relax above me. Allowing part of your weight to cover me you still stay on your elbows looking down into my face. You kiss me again, tucking my hair gently behind my ear.

I love the feel of you on top of me, inside of me. Just laying here this way was all I could want.

"Merry Christmas, Baby."

Friday, December 24, 2010

Santa Baby Voting

So for those who haven't already enjoyed the contest entries here is your chance! A huge thank you for our writers! I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I know the entrants enjoyed writing them!


Entrants, if you would like to post the button on your page to let your readers know you've submitted an entry I would love that, but please keep the entries anonymous until the voting closes.

Read the entries and vote for your favorite in the poll on the sidebar. As for the giveaway? All entries are in and via random.org the winner is.....

Entry #117 The Seductress
(I wish I could have done the screen shot, but I can't figure out if I can or not)
Congratulations! I will be e-mailing you to get your shipping information for the Holiday Santa Duckie!

Voting for the writing contest will run through the next week and close at midnight on New Year's Day. I will announce the winner here on January 2, 2011!

I hope everyone is enjoying safe holiday celebrations with family and friends!

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Daisy's 21 Questions: Abridged Version


1. If you could fly to any place in the world right now for a one night stand where would you go?
2. How important do you think fidelity is, in a relationship?
Very, contrary to what my archives might suggest.
3. Have you ever masturbated in front of someone?
Not exactly, but I do need to try that sometime.
4. Craziest thing you have done in the past month that was sexy or raunchy.
I let the man get me off next to my car in the damn TGIFridays parking lot. I know, I know. It's more raunchy than sexy.
5. If you are married was it a white wedding?
Not married.
6. Have you ever had sex under the influence of Ambien?
7. Describe a fantasy you have.
This describes it best!
8. What do you think about male sex toys?
Well, since I can't really try them out I can't say that I have a right to an opinion.
9. Do you think you can love 2 people but in different ways?
I love a lot of people in different ways. If you mean romantically I can't see how, but I've never been in that situation, can't really say.
10. Ever have webcam sex? if not would you?
I haven't, and I don't think I would.
and the 1/2....
I think Daisy is sexy ;)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Santa Baby Contest Entry #5

It was Christmas Eve. She was exhausted, annoyed, tense and above all else, dreading the next few days with her dysfunctional extended family which would be all cramped up into a single house. She often thought that the Griswald’s Christmas didn’t even hold a candle to the misadventures, bickering and family politics that occurred ever damn year within her family. And why did she do it? Because they’re her fucking family, dammit! Unfortunately, it’s the only one she had.

She was driving back from a last minute run to the shops – snagging up every last minute item she could possibly think that someone in her insane family might want to eat, throw or destroy in the next 48 hours. Her eyes burned with exhaustion and her mind was racing like a gerbil with ADHD on a wheel: frantically spinning, but then changing direction and losing her train of thought every couple minutes.

Then the car gave out and rolled to a stop. What the fuck? Ugh... she forgot to get gas; it was meant to be her last stop. She wanted to cry but couldn’t for some reason. She just rested her forehead on the steering wheel for a moment and tried to calm down; deep breath. She was half way between nowhere and eternity – away from the town shops and general population of humanity. She called the auto club and they said they were pretty swamped on Christmas Eve – it would be at least an hour. Perfect.

About 10 minutes had passed when she saw the headlights of a distant car coming towards her. It pulled up behind her and stopped. At first, she was nervous and locked her doors. A young man got out of his truck and walked up to her window; he looked in and smiled. Straight away she noticed his crystal blue eyes and a gorgeously crooked smile that revealed a dimple on his right cheek. There was something about him and she just knew he wasn’t a psycho or anything. She rolled down her window and said, “Hello!”
“Heck of a night ta’ be stuck ou’here then, eiye?” He smiled at her.

She couldn’t help but smile back. Not only was this young man one of the most remarkably handsome men she had seen in years (in the flesh, anyway) but he had a smooth, yet noticeable Scottish accent. She replied, “I know. It’s my luck, for sure! I’ve called the auto club.”

“Did ya want me ta’ve a look under tha hood? It’s yer lucky night! I’m quite handy with cars.”

“Can you produce gas out of thin air? Because that’s all that’s wrong; the result of me being a mindless idiot.”

His laugh lit up his eyes even more. “Oh, Eiye. That’s the one thing I guess I cannie help ya with.”

They starred at each other for what seemed to be a long pause and then both laughed again; he blushed. She didn’t really want him to leave so she started to make some small talk and pointed to his outfit. “So, do you Scottish boys wear those kilts every day?”

“Agh, no! I hate this monkey suit. Just got back from a swanky Christmas’doo and unfortunately, it was the only thing I owned that was nice enough! I had ta’ be the token Scotsman in a kilt ya know, right?”

“Why do you hate it? You look fantastic in it!”

“Awe thanks. Must be me sexy legs!” He lifted one of his legs in the air and then almost lost his balance. “But really! Just because I’m Scottish dunnie’ mean I must like kilts. I think they’re bloody rrridiculous!”

“Do you wear it the... you know... ‘traditional way’?”

“Uh, ya mean wi’no daks? Na! Not in this bloody weather. I’d freeze me nuts off! I’m wearing some adorrrable thermal boxer-briefs though.” He gave her an exaggerated wink.
That was it – the moment that he welcomed himself in. She had to take the chance while it lasted. “Wow, I’d sure like to see those! Speaking of freezing your nuts off – we wouldn’t want that now, would we? If you’re going to stay and keep me company while the auto club get here, you might as well hop in.”

He must have been younger than her by at least 10 years, if not more, but he wasn’t stupid and he knew exactly what she meant. “Wwwwell, I cannie’ get in the other side – it’s in a snow bank and I dunnie want to feel like you’re drivin’ me in a taxi, so you’ll hav’ta’ join me in the back seat now, won’t ya?”

Her heart began to pound. She knew what was about to happen and couldn’t believe it. Was it a dream? Did she fall asleep against the steering wheel? No; she was most definitely awake. She could feel the blood pounding through her body and swelling her clitoris as she jumping out of the driver’s seat.

Before she got into the back seat, he gently wrapped his arm around her back and brought her in close. “I’m Daniel, by the way.”
“Rachel.” And then he pulled her in tightly for a long, deep kiss. She could feel his erection though both his kilt and her jacket; it was huge and rock solid.

At that very moment, she didn’t have a husband of 13 years that ignored her for 12 of them; nor did she have 3 children that she loved, although would admit they were monstrously demanding and walked all over her. She didn’t have a mother that was overly critical; and neither did she have an alcoholic sister that used her as a crutch her entire adult life. No. At that moment, she was a beautiful woman that stood before a virile, sexy young man that wanted nothing more than to take her into the back of the car and make her scream with jubilation.

She sat down on the back seat and quickly released both front seats forward, so as to make room. There were a few of her last minute purchases lying around as well. She didn’t even care to see what they were – she kicked them aside. He climbed in towards her and his smile grew as he knelt down before her. She grabbed the back of his thighs, ran her hands up the back of his kilt, over his tight ass, and found the top of his boxer-briefs. “Oh yes, they are nice, aren’t they?!” He laughed for a second and then started kissing her again while she pulled his shorts down around his knees.

She grabbed a hold of his huge penis and started caressing it softly, and then harder and faster. He pulled off her sweater, snapped open her bra and began sucking on her nipples; they immediately responded by becoming hard. Every time he circled her nipple with his tongue, she moaned with pleasure. She had forgotten how euphoric foreplay was – it had been too long to even hazard to guess as to when she participated in it last.

He unbuttoned her jeans and yanked them, along with her panties, out from beneath her ass and she helped him along by kicking them off. She spread her legs wide open and he firmly grabbed a hold of each of her knees and then slowly ran his hands up to her inner thighs while leaning in to suck her throbbing vagina. She ran her fingers through his thick blonde hair while he pleasured her in ways that she had never known. He would gently run his tongue along the sides of her vagina, teasing, and then suck on her clit hard and deep, with his long tongue entering inside her and eagerly exploring.

Her body was inundated with ecstasy and it wasn’t long before the warm tingling sensation began to appear in her toes and spread to her thighs. “Daniel! Here I cum! Oh god! I’m going to cum!” Just as she was beginning to climax, he gave her one last deep suck and then thrust his incredibly hard penis inside of her. She was so wet that even with his size, it went in deep and effortlessly. She wrapped her legs around him as he pounded inside her with every ounce of sexual energy that he possessed. Her orgasm was intense and lasted longer than she had ever experienced before and her legs begun to shake.

His eruption was close. “I’m almost ready! Where de ye’ want me ta’ cum?” She could tell it was difficult for him to focus on communicating actual words at that moment. “I’ve had my tubes tied; cum inside me! It’s OK.” At that invitation, he slightly changed his angle and gained both depth and speed until he finally let out his own release of satisfaction. She screamed as he moaned, “Ohh! Fuuuucking fantastic!” He remained inside her for a few more moments and kissed her neck and breasts tenderly. He then slowly withdrew himself from her and sat down beside her. Her body was still in utter shock as to the pure elation it had just experienced and was still slightly quivering.

They both sat there catching their breath. Although they watched each other in admiration, they spoke nothing. He grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it like it was the single thing he loved most in the entire world. Just then lights appeared up ahead, coming towards them. They could soon make out that it was a service vehicle. He pulled up his underwear while she found her clothes and quickly re-dressed. He brought her in close one last time, gave her a wonderfully affectionate kiss and whispered, “That was unforgettable, Rachel. Merry Christmas.” He kissed her one last time and then exited the car and drove off just as the auto club arrived. She jumped out of the car to watch him drive away and out of her life – just as quickly as he has appeared. She kissed the back of her hand and smiled as she spoke to herself, “Merry Christmas to you too, Daniel.”

Bad Girl Christmas!

My Favorite Christmas Traditions:

5. Christmas Breakfast. We're all finally old enough to practice some self-control with the presents and we sit down to a nice warm breakfast before opening presents on Christmas morning. I love this time with my family because I know it's a short period between when we were kids, and when one of us will start having kids.

4. Chinese Gift Swap. (Or the Yankee Gift Swap or whatever else people call it!) I love this game, it's always fun. Granted I don't always get the greatest gift. But when I'm playing with family we usually tag team to try for the gifts we want :)

3. Christmas After Party! This is something I started last year that has obviously become a standing tradition because I was essentially told we'd be doing it again! The night of Christmas after all the meals and gatherings, my 'generation' on my dad's side comes back to my house for drinks, music, and crazy story swaps. We had so much fun last year, and I can't wait for this year!

2. Seeing Out of Town Relatives. I don't have tons and tons of crazy relatives like some do. (I think maybe I'm the crazy relative?) So I do love it when I get to see all those family members that I don't get to see the rest of the year. One of my favorite aunts lives in Georgia and I love catching up with her and my uncle especially. I have a cousin in the Air Force who I really only see at Christmastime. I enjoy that immensely.

1. Christmas Eve Candlelight Service. I know that I can be a little irreverent on here sometimes, but my relationship with God is important to me. The candlelight Christmas Eve service is by far one of my favorite parts of the holiday. Hearing the Christmas Story, lighting the candles, singing the traditional Christmas hymns, it is all so beautiful, and I don't feel like my Christmas is complete without it.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Insecurities and Fears

I'm getting overwhelmed by my fears and insecurities. For the most part, I don't really care what people think. I mean, this is me. Take it or leave it. But if I care about people, then I do care what they think.

I'm worried about everything and everyone right now. I want nothing more than to make everyone I care about happy but it seems to be getting harder to do.

The scary thing seems to be that the happier I get, the more I worry that people around me are unhappy. Not with me necessarily, but in general. Then I feel guilty that maybe I'm not giving as much as I can in those relationships. There just isn't enough time to do it all.

I don't like to show much fear or unhappiness, because in a lot of ways I'm very lucky. I have great friends and family and I love my job. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed by life right now. Some of it is really good. In some ways I'm overwhelmed with the happy. I'm also overwhelmed with worry.

I don't like being overwhelmed, all these emotions scare me a little.

Anyway, I'm just talking I guess.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Well Hells Bells, Look at me!

Take that bitches, I'm the damn Bitch of the Week on Blog Stalk Friday! Kiss that assy day! That's right I made up a word, and since I'm the Bitch of the Week I don't fucking want to hear about it. Got it?

To think I almost didn't do BSF this week?! Of course then I got about a half dozen Fuck Yous after waking up this morning so... here I am, and there you go. Technically there is no link-up this week, but I gotta do it anyway!
BWS tips button

Fuck You Wal-Mart. Why the Hell would you glue the packaging to leggings? Was it so that I could get up and get dressed this morning only to find that nothing other than goo gone would get the paper off my new leggings? I guess so. Of course, I'm meeting J-man's parents tonight and I had put a lot of planning into this outfit that I now can't wear. So I had to frantically re-adjust my plan while running late for work.

Fuck Christmas Traffic. I love Christmas, but damn it people, if you can't drive, stay in the house!

A very special fuck you to the hoity toity bitch who blocked a lane of traffic at the mall to angle herself for the turning lane. Way to go bitch! Way. To. Go.

Fuck my damn forgetfulness. I have a five o'clock meeting, and the party is at 6:30 at least 45 minutes away. .... DAMNITALLTOHELL!

Fuck the ungrateful bitches who sob and beg to multiple organizations for Christmas while the ones who really need it scrape and save because they don't want to take from someone else who might need it more.

Ok, so I have a modified outfit for tonight which required new shoes that I really couldn't afford, but screw it. I didn't have time to cook anything so I'm bringing a damn good bottle of wine. Thank god his mom and sister appreciate a good red! 

Of course since I'm the Bitch of the Week, I'm gonna Blog Stalk. SLUTCODE: Jawbreaker. 

Seriously Jen? You're man came up with this one? WTF? I've never met a cock that hard ;)

Ok, so to my AMEN!s. Did ya'll notice that I hit 100 followers this past week? Ain't that great! I wanted to do something for that lucky 100th follower. If I had money she'd have gotten something fun as a "prize" but I'm broke and it's Christmas, so I decided to peruse her archives for a post worthy of an AMEN from the Choir Loft. I didn't have to look far!

Visit Kait at Tampon in a Teacup to see her awesome post about bad advertising!


Kait take your award with pride my friend :)

I do love this company!

, aOk, so I know you all hear me talk about Edenfantasys a lot, but I really do love this company. I personally love shopping at Edenfantasys.com because there is so much information about the products! For example, check out this product page for the Cleo Massager by ONO.

For starters the left sidebar gives you an quick rundown of everything you need to know about the product. There are reviews, specs, and information on the materials used. On the right you see all available colors and any notes regarding whether or not the product is in stock. Edenfantasys also lets you know whether or not batteries are included. If they aren't, there is an option to add to your cart, so that when your toys arrive you don't have to search for batteries, or worse go to the store, before using your toy.

They also have a nifty little actual size widget that allows to you see the product's real life size compared to items that you can find in your wallet for easy comparison.

Scroll down for a video review of the massager and an even more in depth product description. Because Edenfantasys has such a large community all adult toys and accesories are able to be ranked and commented on, so you can see what others think of the product and read their comments straight from the postings at the bottom of the page!

Similar products and forum discussions relating to the product or it's use are also linked at the bottom of the page. With Edenfantasys you will never have to make an uninformed purchase. In fact, because of the open community encouraged there, you can actually send messages to the reviewers listed on the page if you have specific questions about the product!

I'm showing you this page specifically because it's up for grabs in the Edencafe contest this week! Go to www.edencafe.com/contest/ to enter for a chance to win your own Cleo massager. While you're there, check out all the posts from the Eden community.

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys storeI've also written a lot about the Ambassador Program and it is changing, so I wanted to clarify on that as well. In the past you had to go onto the Edenfantasys website and set up and account. You'd then request a product each month and write a testimonial linking to edenfantasys. Now, however, you don't have to set up an account. (I still recommend it because the forums and other programs are great!) You simply write a post on edenfantasys, email it to Jenn[at]edenfantasys[dot]com and she will send you a giftcard code. If you're interested e-mail her for specifics on linking and such.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Ginger's Flasher!

Posting Ginger's Flasher for her! So glad you played girl! Tell her how much you love it!


It has been a long day shooting random shots random places but this by far is my favorite. Although we are outside and I am freezing my ass off the mood is fun. Jack keeps looking at me and lusting with his big brown eyes. Maybe if I spread my legs a little more, oh now he wants me to lift my leg. Can he see how wet I am? He comes to pinch my nipples and teases my cheeks to make them more red. I lick my lips not sure what else to do to let him know I am ready to play.

It begins to snow and people are packing up to leave. Jack looks like he is taking his sweet time. As the last of the men drive off it is just Jack and me standing in the snow flurries wondering who should make the first move. I lifted my snow dress to reveal my plump ass and I slapped it. I have never seen a man move so fast but in the next moment Jack's warm hands were gripping my ass. I let out a moan in pleasure. He held me close to where I felt his hard cock ready to come out.

I shoved him back on the blanket and pulled his pants down My pussy was salivating at the sight. I straddled his legs lowering myself slowly onto him; closing my eyes as his thickness overtakes me. Damn this feels good! Jack wraps His hand around my waist and holds tight as I begin to ride. My breast bounce uncontrollably and he brings his hand up To pinch my nipples. Harder I scream circling my pussy around his cock. He thrusts deeper and starts sucking hard on my nipples and I begin to spasm in pure pleasure. Breathing heavy I lean down and whisper, "Your work here is done."


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Wicked Wednesday: Theme Song

My theme song? Crazy Bitch by Buck Cherry. Embedding codes disabled... yep. It's that bad ass. So click the damn link if you've been living under a rock or just need a fix.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


So in case you haven't realized it by now, I like things a little rough. Lucky for me I've found someone who is happy to oblige. Of course, this has involved me being 'marked' as I jokingly refered to it last week. I wasn't thinking about how long the marks would last or just how they might effect my wardrobe.

I've had to be careful what I've worn for about a week now, and today was my annual gyno visit. The bite marks and bruises on my chest weren't completely faded. I was texting my girl J this morning trying to figure out what to say if the doctor questioned me about them. I mean what was I supposed to say? "Got a new boyfriend and I like it rough." Haha, she told me to tell him that I'd been attacked by ping pong balls!

It must have been fairly obvious to him during the breast exam what all the marks were. Cause it was that moment that he chose to remind me that even on birth control there can be accidents and I should consider getting on a mulit-vitamin "just in case". I just laughed and agreed to start taking vitamins.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Flashers Week Five

This week Nanny has chosen another pin-up. This is called Snow Bunny and is by one of her favorite pin-up artists Jessica Dougherty copyright belongs to her.

Side note: Flashers will be on hold for the next two weeks due to the holidays, and Nanny's daughter being home. Basically we're all busy. :)

The Rules...Monday's we'll post a picture. If your muse gets inspired write a story fueled by the picture, post it to your blog by Friday (linky closes Friday night at 12pm EST), then link up here or on Naughty Mommy Reviews and Junk so others out there can enjoy your hard work! We're shooting for a max word count of 500. However, there are no penalties for going over or under. (I don't intend to count) Your post can be naughty, nice, erotic, or mainstream what ever floats your boat. We'll even take poetry. Just go with the flow and write.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

Better Than Chocolate by Nomi Tang

So I received the Better than Chocolate (BTC) Vibrator by Nomi Tang from Babeland.com for review. I was pretty excited to review this one because of my previous experience with Nomi Tang toys. Just as I expected the presentation was very nice. The toy was firmly in place inside the sturdy box and while it was easy to remove it didn't rattle. I like this because it let's me know that the toy doesn't get beat up in the shipping process. The toy comes with a small instruction manual and a cloth pouch for storage.

The Better Than Chocolate requires two AAA batteries. I happened to have AAA batteries but I know that most people don't keep them on hand the way they might AA. Once I got the batteries in the toy was simple to use. The curve of the toy allows it to fit in the palm of your hand easily. The i-touch pad is even easier to use on the BTC than it was with the Getaway, likely because of the ergonomic design.

If you've never used a Nomi Tang product the i-touch slider is a great controller that makes it easy to change speeds and patterns while you are using your toy, but also allows you to lock the speed/pattern that you like so you don't accidentally change it if you've found what you want. I recommend testing all the settings and learning your controller before actually playing with the toy, simply because it will make your experience more enjoyable.

This toy was amazing. I am generally more likely to use an insertable toy because I enjoy vaginal stimulation, but the ease of use with the BTC has possibly changed that for me. It's shape allows the toy to curve perfectly into your hand while lining up with the contours of your labia and clitoris. Very discreet size (it fits in the palm of your hand), the BTC is not loud at all. It was a very nice toy to get down under the covers with on a cold night.

The Better Than Chocolate can also be submerged in up to one meter of water, so it is perfect for use in the tub or shower as well. The i-touch slider automatically locks pattern and speed when it is covered in water so remember that when using it in the tub. I personally can't wait for a hot bath, glass of wine, and my BTC!

This product was provided to me free of charge in exchange for an unbiased review. The opinions here are my own and no compensation was recieved for this review.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Flasher #4

Damn, these shoes are killing my feet! If Johnny didn't pay so much damn money for this I'd have quit when I got that job at the bank. Of course he pays me way too much for me to give up these private performances. I wait at the bar while he finishes counting up the nights deposits and check my make-up. Once upon a time Johnny ran a dance club, and I was his star performer. Then I got a "real" job and Johnny took a job here at The Tap Room as the manager. We both made better money, but I did miss dancing. Johnny must have missed it too, because he called me a month after I'd left asking me to come dance for him when he closed up that night. I laughed it off and told him no, but he begged. Promised to 'tip' me and buy me dinner. Thinking it was his way of asking me out I went.

He never asked me out though, and six months later, he hasn't made a move. I come here every Thursday night after closing. I get to put more effort into my costumes, hair and make-up because he pays me so well. Because I'm dancing out of choice now, not necessity, I actually enjoy it. Every night is the same. I look up and Johnny is walking out of the back room. He smiles and lifts a hand in welcome. I pull a chair out for my routine and toss my coat aside while he steps over to turn on the music. I start to move my hips in time with the music as he pulls up a chair. I close my eyes and let the music glide over me. Moving with the beat, running my hands across my body.

Johnny has always treated me like a dancer, not a stripper. He's never laid a hand on me, or been inappropriate in any way. I imagine that it's his hands on my body as I dance. When the song is over I open my eyes to find him smilling in appreciation. Every week I hold my breath and wish that he would get up and take me in his arms when I'm done, but each time he only smiles while he thanks me and puts a small white envelope in my hands filled with cash. Johnny finishes gathering his things as I wrap myself in my coat and don my gloves and then he walks me to the parking lot.

Wet with arousal and anticipation of something that will never happen I go home alone. Johnny doesn't want to date me. He pays me to entertain him. What man can love a woman he pays for?


Get out the Whips and Chains

Well, I haven't taken things that far yet, but it's the slut code bitches so we'll all just suck it up and go there, ok!?

Go check out Just Jen for Blog Stalk Friday!
As for Fuck You Friday? I'm lame this week. The only think I have to fuck off is a sore throat and I mean, that would just be lame to link-up so I won't. Check out Jana and Christy for Fuck You Friday though and link-up!!

Another shameless plug for the Santa Baby Contest :) Today you get 14 drawing entries for submitting a piece and you also have the chance to win the Seduction Holiday Edition by Evolved!

I have four entries so far, if I get ten I'll put up a second place prize! Someone asked if they could submit more than one entry and I'm ok with that. You just can't win first and second place prizes if we get ten entries.

Another shameless plug for my contest submission over at Lush Stories. Go read The Erotic Christmas Wish and vote for me!
No AMEN's this week. I haven't had a lot of time to catch up on reading everyone's blogs so I don't have anything and I'm afraid if I picked one I'd be missing some good ones. There may be a few extra next week.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

It's cause I'm [insert race/gender/marital status/age here] isn't it?

I can't imagine it's a regional thing so I'm sure you're all familiar with the catch phrase that I'm talking about. I work in a very diverse agency so it flies around here all the time. It's cause I'm white isn't it? It's just because I'm old. She says that cause I'm black. You know what I mean.

Anyway, a weird thing happened to me yesterday. I went to have lunch at one of my favorite places. Unlike a lot of my single twentysomething friends, I don't mind eating alone. I don't cook very much since it's basically just me and I tend to grab meals out fairly often. I know people who will eat in their car just so they don't have to sit alone, but it doesn't bother me. I like being able to run in, eat quickly without making a mess in my car, get a refill and run the rest of my lunch-break errands.

Yesterday was not unlike most days. This particular establishment often has a couple of managers who will walk around the place greeting people, getting refills and taking trays. It was also the same as most days, in that none of the managers spoke to me.

I'm a friendly person. I smile at people, I look around while I'm eating, I like to watch people and interact with children. I really think I'm approachable, but when I eat alone I rarely get spoken to by management. Why is this? Is it because I'm alone? Nope, they talked to the business man over there and offered to get him a refill. It ain't cause I'm white. The place is full of white people and they are talking to all of them. It's not because I'm a woman. They asked that elderly lady if they could take her tray for her. It's not my age because that girl over there with the kid is getting a lot of attention from them.

I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that they spoke to every single person around me. I was sitting alone at a small table in the center of this little area. I dumped my own tray, got my own refill and neither of those managers so much as smiled at me (and I smiled at them). Once I noticed it I was bothered by it. Location and preference mean that I eat there fairly often and both of those managers likely recognize my face as a regular patron. I know that I am young and don't have any children to tend to, but would it hurt to throw a little customer service my way?

Does anyone else run into this? Is it just me? Maybe it really is because I'm white/female/single/twentysomething?

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

21 Questions with Daisy

The would you rather version.

1. would you rather have a threesome with 2 guys and a girl, or 2 girls and a guy?
Two guys and me :)
2. Would you rather have complete sober sex or completely buzzed sex?
3. Would you rather have your toes sucked or your ears?
4. Would you rather screw George w Bush or Martha Stewart?
Ugh, really? I guess W, but I'd need to be really really drunk for that one.
5. Would you rather have morning sex or night sex?
Whenever there is more time ;)
6. Would you rather do it in the hot tub or big shower?
A big shower, better for positions!
7. Would you rather have no sex for a week or crappy sex for 2 weeks?
Tough one, once I've had crappy sex I'll have to get back to you ;)
8. Would you rather be with an experience person or nonexperienced?
Doesn't matter as long as their ready to hit the ground running now :)
9. Would you rather be naked in public or get caught by your parents?
hmm.... caught
10. Would you rather be with one person for the rest of your life or experience many?
I could be with one person for the rest of my life.
11. Would you rather be the dominant one or submissive one?
12. Would you rather have sex in a church or a funeral home?
Really? You can't deduce this one on your own?
13. Would you rather have texting sex or phone sex?
Phone sex, I can put it on speaker and have full use of my hands :)
14. Would you rather die a virgin or a hoe?
too late for the first one ;)
15. Would you rather post a picture of tits or ass?
16. Would you rather do it on the kitchen counter or in front of fire place with a roaring fire?
oooo that's tough. Can't I have both? I do like being warm though.
17. Would you rather have 30 minutes of foreplay which included a backrub or a 30 minute orgasm?
oh man, a 30 minute orgasm! That might kill me. While it would be a great way to go, I think I'd love a good backrub.
18. Would you rather be covered in chocolate or whip cream?
whip cream
19. Would you do it risky business style or Pretty woman style?
Hmm... I've never seen Risky Business :( So I guess I have to go with Pretty Woman.
Scene from Risky Business (google images)
20. Would you rather have sex with the cowardly lion or the wicked witch of the west?
WHAT!! I'd say the Lion as long as he's just a big guy in a fuzzy suit, cause I don't think I could deal with that pointy nose or green skin.
and lastly
21. Would you rather have an orgasm once every 20 seconds or once every 5 years?
So then a constant orgasm is what you're saying? I mean, mine last at least 20 seconds if not longer.... I guess for the sake of doing anything aside from orgasming, I'd have to go with 5 years.

Have you checked Daisy out? Go do it and link-up!

Wednesday Link-Ups!

Ok, so Jen wants us to talk about bitches this week. Ya'll know I could talk about bitches all day long! There is the selfish bitch who doesn't take care of her child. There is the self-centered bitch who thinks that her shit doesn't stink and the world revolves around her. The bitch who cheated on my father and still cares more about her sex life than being a mother. The bitch who uses her child as a pawn to get what she wants and take advantage of good people. The other bitch who is a GROWN ASS WOMAN and turns down jobs to remain on unemployment and allow her elderly parents to pay her mortgage.

I mean, really, how am I supposed to choose here? I guess the bitchy thing that is bearing down on my right now is the one who thinks the world revolves around her. I had the pure agony pleasure of her company Saturday night. My girl J was sick, everyone was a little tired, and first she wants to show us pictures of the poor animal that she brought into her home to be neglected. We were supposed to think the dog was cute and oo and aw. She was cute, but we all know that she's going to be a terror because she'll be locked up in a crate all the time and never get any attention. So then, she starts in on the 'welt' on her arm. She may go to the doctor because it hurts to touch it. Of course, she wanted everyone to feel it.... yeah, ok. Then when the conversation wasn't about her (J asked how Burlesque was on Friday night) she had to be herself I guess.

Bitch: "I heard a lot of bad reviews for that movie."
Me:"Well, I liked it." So now you've heard a good one.
B: "I just can't stand movies with a lot of nudity."
M: "It's Burlesque. By definition there is no nudity or stripping, it's only implied." Idiot.
B: "Oh, so there aren't a lot of naked people?"
M: "No, the movie was rated PG-13." Wasn't that in your review?

She continued trying to dominate conversations and make everything about her and her stupid animals. I swear. I really do try to be sweet and tolerate, but she gets on my nerves so damn bad.

Names Will Not Be Changed To Protect The Innocent
So for the Naughty List this week, I've been as bad as I could manage!

1) I sent J-man a few stories to read this week. I wanted to guarantee that he couldn't keep his mind off of me I guess.

2) I skipped out on Trivia so that I could take advantage of the empty house and have loud, crazy sex last night. (Totally worth it!)

3) I swore I'd never have sex while my 14 year old sister was in the house, and well, I did. It was a quickie though and she never knew, so it's not that bad. I was more concerned that, since I had no idea she was coming and I'd been planning an all night session, she'd find the box of condoms and cuffs beside my bed before I got home. If she did she didn't move them or mention it, so I figure we're good. Ya know, it's hard to tell a kid not to do something when your doing it. I mean, I don't have the standard; Because I'm your mom and I said so. I'm just her sister.

Go check out Ange for the other Naughty Lists and Bad Girl Bloggers for all the Wicked Wednesday Bitch stories!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

My Kind of Christmas Music

I love sultry music, and sometimes I feel like it's my theme song!

It's Christina, and sexy as hell. Come on!

I love these two. Now they sing my favorite holiday song together?!

Monday, December 6, 2010

A Very Naughty Christmas Indeed

I hope everyone has had a chance to check out my Santa Baby Contest! If you haven't you need to! There is a giveaway too! I have four entries so far, and if I get ten I'm going to give a second place prize as well! So check out the rules, read the entries, and enter the giveaway!


Also, I entered a contest myself. I found a site with cash prizes so I thought I'd give it a try. I'm a little late to the game though so I need your help! Go read The Erotic Christmas Wish and vote for me!

Flashers Week Four!

Another Jack Vettriano Print from me this week. This is Dancer for Money. Happy Writing!

The Rules...Monday's we'll post a picture. If your muse gets inspired write a story fueled by the picture, post it to your blog by Friday (linky closes Friday night at 12pm EST), then link up here or on Naughty Mommy Reviews and Junk so others out there can enjoy your hard work! We're shooting for a max word count of 500. However, there are no penalties for going over or under. (I don't intend to count) Your post can be naughty, nice, erotic, or mainstream what ever floats your boat. We'll even take poetry. Just go with the flow and write.


Friday, December 3, 2010

Flashers #3

Leslie walked out into the garage and turned down the stereo. Mark looked out from beneath the hood and raised an eyebrow. "Too loud?" He asked. She just nodded and walked down the stairs. Her mother was a pill. She never blamed him for hiding out here in the garage when she came over, Leslie just wished she could do the same.

He held a hand out and motioned for her to come closer. She sighed and stepped into his arms. He dropped a kiss on her forehead and hugged her close. "Just think, she goes home tomorrow." He laughed and pulled her just far enough away to smile down at her. Leslie smiled too. She looked at the poster on the wall and laughed. His buddy John bought it for him as a gag birthday gift last month, but Mark had come home and put it on the wall.

"I guess I better make sure she doesn't come out here to see your pin-up poster. I'd really never hear the end of it then." Leslie swatted his ass. He laughed and pulled her closer, closing his mouth over hers for a kiss. She grabbed onto his perfect butt with both hands and squirmed against him. He groaned. She wanted to be that girl on the poster for him. She wanted to strip down and let him fuck her against the old truck. Her mother had one of her headaches and was lying down. Maybe...

She reached for his belt and when his hands covered hers she let him take over and she pulled her cotton t-shirt over her head. He kicked off the pants and boxers and pulled his shirt over his head. She shimmied out of her own jeans and reached for him. God but she loved him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and walked her to the back of the truck. He lowered his head to lick her nipples and lifted her onto the tailgate. He crawled up behind her and covered her body with his own.

The ridges in the bed of the truck pressed against her back, but she didn't care. He kissed her again, and tested her folds with his fingers. She was ready, so ready. He slid into her and held her tight, pulsing slowly. Wanting to cry out, she bit her lip. He felt so good inside her, when they were like this it was so easy to forget everything else. Slowly he rocked her to climax and he covered her mouth with his own to stifle her cry. He picked up the pace until he came on a groan, spilling inside of her.

He tried to hold his weight off of her so as not to press her against the uncomfortable truck bed anymore than he already had. Smiling up at him she pulled him down for another long kiss before they got redressed. On her way back into the house she caught a glimpse of the poster and had a few ideas for the day her mother finally left.


Just back away when I'm on the soap box...

BWS tips buttonIt's Friday!!! This week my Fuck Yous are all essentially work related.

Fuck You sick bastards who do horrible things to children who can't defend themselves. I had one really horrible day this week because I saw first hand what one ass wipe, waste of humanity did to a defenseless little girl.

Fuck You reality! Did you catch Private Practice last night? Yeah, that's real life. They pull shit like that with victims. You aren't a good witness and since you were afraid of your attacker at first (Gee, ya think?) We aren't going to arrest the bastard. It makes me really angry. Very angry actually and this week in particular I'm ready to grab a front row seat and watch these fucking asswipes rot in hell.

Aside from that (as though it isn't a big deal), I don't have anything. Actually, thanks to J-man, I'm walking around in an annoyingly happy cloud and I can't stop smiling. Check out Jana and Christy for the rest of the fuck yous this week!

Check out Jen and everyone else for Blog Stalk Friday!
SLUT CODE: Penis Platter

The holidays threw me off some, but I have some Amens for you! In case you missed it, two weeks ago I created this new little award I've decided to give out. I won't necessarily do it every week, but when I find a post that makes me say, "I was thinking the same thing! It's like they took the words right out of my mouth!!" Then I will be handing out some Amens :)


So this week I want to draw your attention to Jenny Jen over at Blonde Bronzed Twentysomething and her two part post on late night text messages.

Jenny Jen, I couldn't have said it better. Even if I've had to preach to myself before, this is dead on!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Daisy's 21 Questions!


Naughty or Nice Edition

1. Had sex in car older than a 1985 model?
2. Played strip poker and lost?
Nope, I just take my clothes off ;)
3. name three celebrities you would like to bang the sh!tz out of.
Channing Tatum, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp
4. Ever gone commando?
All the time
5.Open relationship?
Not for me, but I'm fascinated by the idea
6. you have been naughty what is your punishment?
Spank me please!
7. ticklish?
8. spit or swallow?
It varies, oddly, but normally swallow
9. is rear entry an option?
not at the moment
10. What would you do for a Klondike bar?
There are so many things I would do for nothing at all ;)
11. Truth or Dare? (Truth have you ever been with more than 1 person in one day? or show a tasteful picture of cleavage/boobs or guys a boxer shot)
Nope, but I want to do both so here :)
 12. BDSM?
I'm open to the idea
13. Does this picture make you horny or hungry?
It honestly weirds me out a little
14.You order a pizza...would you ever flash the delivery guy at the door?
Haha, what does he look like?
15. Are you horny?
16. Leather or lace?
Leather with lace
17. silk ties or hand cuffs?
silk cuffs (I just got a pair, soo nice!)
18. Thongs? Boy shorts? Grannie panties? lace?
Hipsters.... if I'm wearing any ;)
19. eyes open or closed?
closed in bliss :)
20. romance or kink?
and lastly
21. would you rather take a bath in chocolate pudding or drive around the town naked in your car?
Who's with me? This totally effects the answer.

Santa Baby Contest Entry #4

The lights seem reflect a bit too bright in the mirror as I apply the lipstick to my lips,  making me squint in irritation and nervousness. I glance anxiously at my reflection, patting down my short , black skirt and adjusting my almost too small red corset. Everything seemed to be in order, not a hair out of place. I briefly considered leaving, quiting this whole endeavor, but knew that deep down I wanted to try this. I put the lipstick back into my small black clutch and take in a deep breath.  Taking a last look, I mutter to myself, “You can do this”. 

I step out of the bathroom, attempting to portray confidence to whoever might be looking my way. The heels I’m wearing feel a bit uncomfortable, my toes groaning in unfamiliar protest. Rayna had promised me a great time at the sex club, gushing about the gorgeous men, the sexy ambiance, and the guaranteed thrilling experiences. I have to admit, she was right about the ambiance. I had walked into a narrow, dimly lit room. The walls seemed almost black, with red and purple-lit fixtures placed carefully around the room.  Located on the walls within the room were large, almost looming doors with numbers fixed on them. A man to my right was watching me carefully, waiting to see what my choice was. He was one of four in the room, each placed between two doors. They were available to open whatever door I chose, whether the door was to their right or left.

I looked at a man to my left, noticing his freshly pressed red suit, made to resemble Santa, as if he was there to present a gift to the lucky boy or girl choosing a door. I inwardly chuckled at the theme they chose in honor of the holidays, at the almost complete ridiculousness of it all. I was supposed to chose a door, any door and go inside to whatever awaited me. Rayna had chosen number three and been spanked within almost an inch her life. She had also chosen number eight a few months ago and had been greeted with an orgy with both men and women. I wasn’t interested in pain or multiple partners, so I didn’t plan on choosing either of those doors. I continued to stand in the middle of the room, glancing from door to door, contemplating what each could hold. What if I chose the wrong one? What if I was unhappy with my decision? I quickly closed my eyes and pointed to the door of my choosing, announcing, “Number seven please” to the nearest gentleman.

He nodded, showing neither pleasure nor disappointment and opened the door. No light shown towards the hall like I expected, but instead it seemed too dark, almost ominous. I slowly walked into the doorway, glancing one last time to the indifferent man, jumping as he closed the door loudly behind me. I quickly realized I had been wrong, that the room wasn’t completely dark but rather lit by only a few candles. It was a relatively small, with a king size bed in the middle. It had only a red satin sheet placed on it, with some green pillows strewn around. The smell of vanilla and cinnamon permeated the room, filling my nostrils with the comforting scent. I was so entranced by the smell, I almost didn’t notice him. Not until he stepped out of the shadows from a corner, his intensity now impossible to ignore. He appraised slowly me and I took this opportunity to do the same. He was taller then most men,  lean but not too thin with medium length brown hair. He had a relatively sharp jaw line, with a generous and full mouth that seemed to almost smirk . His piercing dark eyes seemed to swallow me up, drinking their fill of my outfit, stopping on my breasts that seemed to swell under his gaze.

“I’ve never done this before.” I said, feeling the need to explain my existence to this gorgeous god-like creature.  My voice came out strained and breathy, as if even my throat couldn’t wait to be filled by him. His smirk became more pronounced and he advanced towards me, reaching for my hips. My knees grew weak as he pressed his mouth against mine, demanding me to yield. I accepted his dominance but met it with an equal hunger, my inhibitions disappearing into the shadows of the room. His hands reached under my skirt, cupping my ass, lifting me into the air. I responded by wrapping my legs around his waist, enjoying the hard lines and ridges his muscles created. Our kissing grew frantic and hot, my nails scraping along his back as he led us to the bed. I yelped in surprise as he threw me onto the soft, springy mattress, but quieted as soon as I saw him take his shirt off. I could feel myself getting wet, my pussy beginning to throb in longing for him. I reached for him, to lick him, fuck him, something. Instead, he quickly grabbed my hair, gentle but firmly pulling on it and shaking his head at me silently. I let my arms fall to my sides and let him bend down and reach between my skirt. He slide two fingers into my pussy, letting his thumb rub my clit in a slow motion. I moaned, relaxing almost instantly.  I opened my thighs for him, allowing easier access, enjoying the gentle probing of his fingers. I hesitantly reached for his pants, looking at him for permission. He nodded, prompting me to open his pants and slide them down, appraising the goods. His dick was hard and thick, not too long but seemed just right. I felt like Goldilocks, except I wanted to sit on his cock rather then sleep in a bed. I grabbed it with both of my hands and licked the tip, moaning again as he slide a third finger into my pussy, working up to a faster pace. I matched his rhythm with one of my own, wrapping my lips along his shaft, wetting his cock with my spit.

Suddenly he stopped and disappeared to behind me on the bed. Before I could look around, I felt my skirt lifted and his dick thrust deep inside me. I grit my teeth in a mix of pleasure and pain, relishing the full feeling he created. He started slowly, gripping my hips, kneading my ass with his thumbs. I began to whimper as I felt the pressure grow, felt myself become even more wet and lifted my ass for a better angle. He began to pump harder, gripping me even tighter and closer then before. I threw my head back in a loud moan and he reached forward with a hand, allowing me to suck on his finger while he fucked me. I heard his breathing grow heavier, his grunts becoming more pronounced. The force of his thrusts made echoing smacks around the room, hard enough to make me lose my balance. My arms fell out from under me and I face planted into the mattress, but he didn’t stop. He pounded me even harder, making me scream in muffled pleasure into the bed. It was almost too much, too much to handle, I don’t think I can handle…oh shit. My entire body was wracked with waves of an orgasm, flowing over me like a pure intense light. I vaguely heard him groan loudly and fall to the side of me in a heap.  I could barely move, my muscles feeling limp and useless.

After an unknown amount of time, I sat up and took in my surroundings. The bed was a mess, the pillows nowhere to be found. Some of the candles had burned out, making the room seem even darker but now less ominous. I looked down at my companion and allowed a whisper of a smile play upon my lips. His eyes were closed, his breathing deep, giving the appearance of sleep. Suddenly, his opened and fixed on eye on me, watching me again. We stared at one another for a few seconds and when it seemed like the silence would become too much, he said in a rumbling voice, “You were worth every penny.” I laughed out loud, suddenly noticing a sprig of mistletoe on the table by the bed. I leaned over his prone body to grab the leaf and held it inches from his sexy mouth. I bent down over him and smiled. “Want to go again?”


Santa Baby Contest Entry #3

What Wardrobe Malfunction?

Yes, here I go again”, she mumbled, striding into another “mandatory” company Christmas party, in yet another restrained, red velvet dress and tightly wound up-do.

“At least this is a new venue with an open bar!!” She said, giggling to herself as she traversed the icy stairs.

Work had consumed her to the point of agonizingly long days and sleepless nights of fitted worry. The nights she did manage to conquer a few hours of sleep in, were filled with nightmares of her repulsive boss trying to mount her while eating a leaky jelly doughnut before a staff meeting. Details, deadlines and full-blasted coffee were her only lovers these days; even her vibrator had been cursed at and thrown across the apartment for taking too freaking long at the task at hand.

At this point, she had really just needed to be taken advantage of by a bronzed man of questionable moral boundaries, fucked very harshly, and left with no long-term expectations. Sadly however, she knew at this party, she would more likely explode into a thin dusting of prudent, sexually frustrated, sparkly ashes, than to find a suitable man to fantasize about.

Well, at least she thought that, until she gazed upon the adept young bartender.

He was freaking marvelous! Those green eyes and perfectly unrestrained brown curls made her instantly turn gangly and pre-pubescent, she swore she could feel her dental headgear pulling her teeth back as she stood ogling him.

But, looking down, it hit her; she couldn’t have worn a more unflattering dress if she had tried! Dodging advances everyday at work made this unfortunate party apparel decision necessary. She hadn’t taken her coat off yet and decided to dart to the ladies room to survey the dowdy dress damage.

One step later, jelly doughnut walks up.

“You look marvelous as usual!” he spouts, while his wife death grips his arm, glaring at her.

“Well, the Salvation Army had a sale on all unflattering red velvet last weekend, soooo.”

Yes, doughnut, that WAS a joke, she thought, before continuing.

“Excuse me, I’m going to run to the ladies room”.

Looking in the mirror, she ridicules herself.

“I can’t believe I wore THIS!! There’s got to be some way of…... A-HA!!!!”

As she glanced around the ladies lounge she noticed the shimmering black cording with small tassels at each end holding the curtains back, if she stole it, she could make a cute belt to cinch her waist. It worked perfectly! She then let her hair down, dampened it a bit and scrunched it while kneeling under the hand dryer, praying no one came in. A quick air burst to her underarms and a few flips of her head later, she looked delicious! Two slaps on each cheek flushed her a little, and a fierce red stain was applied to her pouting lips. That matronly slit to the knee also got sexed up a bit by a quick tear to her thigh, secured with safety pins.

“Breathe, you’re a sex maven, just breathe”, she reassured herself out loud.

Wandering out of the restroom, cool as a cucumber in July, she stumbles on a cord right before the bar and her watching conquest.

“Unfortunately it appears maybe you DON’T need to visit me!” he said winking at her.

“Well, maybe you could pretend to water one down a bit,” she countered.

"Maybe then you’ll get lucky with me”.

His smile tore through her, taunting every womanly spot with a seducing confidence.

“Lucky for me, I am the boss tonight and I can get the bar covered while a sweep you off to a private balcony I spied earlier this evening.”

Once at the balcony, he notices the makeshift tieback belt.

“This looks better on you anyways” he quipped.

“It’ll look even better on the floor!” she advises.

Those sentences lead into a kiss that pushed her against the balusters and out of control. He slipped his hands up her skirt and was stopped by her Spanx.

She quickly covers her embarrassment with humor as she slips them off.

“Dammit man, you have no idea how sexy spanx can be if you pretend you never found them on a gal!”

Two seconds later, she experiences the welcome roughness of his hand pushing between her whetted lips, she gasped as she felt his longing for her and begged to taste him. When he could no longer take the skilled movements of her passionate tongue caressing and teasing him, he pulled her down to the marbled floor and thrust her onto him with a deep groan. She felt faint with pleasure and frantically guided him deeper until there was no escape for either one of them.

Their breath and tongues were in unison now, nothing was held back as they savored each other’s every move climaxing intensely. When the pulsing stopped, he flipped over beside her and ran his fingers through her hair. They both lay, staring at the stars, enjoying that certain giggle of complete sexual elation that was over taking them at the moment.

“This can’t be the last time I feel this with you” he whispered.

“I’ll crash every Christmas party I hear about until I find you again” she confided.

“You'll wear the spanx again too, won’t you? I love pretending!”

After fixing herself back up to prim and proper, she re-entered the gathering hall, waved at doughnut and walked out wearing a contented smile.

Clutched in her hand was a cocktail napkin with information about the next Christmas party she would be crashing, wearing support underwear and a cheap red velvet dress.